Are You Letting Her Boss You About?

Everytime I meet a dad of a daughter I look for an opportunity to ask: “Are you letting her boss you around?”

When I was about 8 years old I remember thinking the word ‘bossy’ must mean something good because it was a descriptive word everyone used about me (years later when it became common to understand bossy was a term usually used for girls and it could be replaced for girls demonstrating leadership skills, it made sense)

As a child I understood bossy to be ‘when something needs to happen and someone speaks up so it happens’. Looking back I appreciate my parents giving me the opportunity to be bossy (I remember them saying ‘lets all be quiet for a while’ but I can’t remember a single time when they belittled my ideas or encouraged me to use my voice less).

Throughout my life as my leadership experience has grown I’ve especially appreciated the life experience my dad gave me so at an early age I used my voice and experienced an older man following my direction. In many meetings where I have been the only female voice I’ve had confidence to speak up because I had the expectation that I would be listened to and my direction followed- that was a gift my dad granted me throughout his life. At the end of my dad’s career he spent over 10 years working with me and my majority female team and I saw how he listened to the rest of my team in the same way as he listened to me:

‘She knows what she is doing’.

My dad passed away in September and among the acknowledgements people shared was one which brought to life the gift he had given me, the gift of being able to boss:

‘Your dad was one of the (few) men who helped women to rise. And with humour too’.

This International Womens Day as people look for practical ways to advance the 2022 theme #breakthebias I will be encouraging dads of daughters to be ‘bossed’ about. Another way to say that is to empower their leadership and develop in them a healthy expectation that their voice will be listened to. That might look like playing the way they think the game should be played or reading the bedtime story the way they think it should be read. Enjoy being bossed- it is an expression of love.